Today is exactly a month from my 27th birthday. The reason why this is semi important is because I've decided to stay 27 for the next 5 years and I would like those years to be awesome.
I've been feeling like my life isn't real lately. Where I don't know how I got here on this island, in medical school, in this situation for other aspects of my life and it gives me anxiety and wakes me up in the middle of the night in a panic. I feel like I'm just lost in the world and I'm just wandering around aimlessly. And it can't just the medical school thing or the isolated island thing because there are other students here who are happy...or at least content. I mean, soon I'll be back in the real world of NY (fingers crossed that all goes well) and I can't possibly help save other people's lives when my life seems to be in shambles. And with everything that has been happening lately, I'm pretty much just a downward spiral waiting to happen. So I think it's about time I act like an adult and pull my crap together.
So here's my new life goal/promise to myself --> in the next month, I will:
- figure out exactly what I want in my future
- break out of any old cycles that I've stayed in because I was just too scared to break it
- cut out the destructive behavior
- stop being so angry at the world and hating literally everyone I meet nowadays (but I swear that if you lived here, you would feel the same way as me)
- stop being so damn distracted and focus better on school so that I can be the best doctor everrrrr
- get rid of the people who make me doubt myself and feel like crap
- and most importantly, stop settling for anything less than what I want or deserve
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